The Most Common Parenting Mistake Of All

Becoming a parent, especially for the first time, is an exciting but scary experience. You'll be entering a whole new world where different rules apply, and no matter how prepared you think you are, there's usually little you've experienced before which you can draw on when making the choices and snap decisions that will become a major part of your life once the little one arrives.

It's for this reason that there's an abundance of parenting advice available which you can use to inform your decisions. There are print magazines packed with useful advice, web sites with tons of articles to peruse, not to mention the well meaning but sometimes irritating advice and opinions of family and friends. Despite all this information being available, most parents are terrified that they're somehow not up to the job and will do it wrong, and herein lies the most common parenting mistake of all: not trusting in your own judgment and instincts.

However intimidating the prospect is of having ultimate responsibility for the nurture of a new and precious life, you should be in no doubt that you have exactly the skills and capabilities you'll need over the coming years.

Think about it. As human beings, we're all parenting specialists. In evolutionary and genetic terms, our whole existence is geared towards producing and nurturing offspring, and over the millions of years that the human species has been developing we've become generally incredibly good at it. You only need to watch a mother and child together to know that however difficult the process may seem, bringing up a child is the most natural thing in the world, and something for which each and every parent to be has the necessary skills to make a success of it if they make it their number one focus.

Of course, this doesn't mean that you should ignore all advice. After all, the experience handed down from generation to generation is absolutely vital and is how civilization developed in the first place. Not one of us has all the answers, we all need input from others in all kinds of situations.

But trust in your own capabilities as a parent above all else, and trust in your own ability to make the best of all the advice and support that's out there. That way you'll definitely be the best parent your child could ever have.

About The Author

Andrea Flint writes for http://www.informationwarehouse.co.uk/ where you can read more parenting articles at http://www.informationwarehouse.co.uk/family/parenting/

A Parenting Tip For Newbies - Check Who’s Really In Charge

I remember it well.

My oldest son was a tiny little toddler, full of spunk. I was still a newbie mom, delighted that my precious son was healthy and thriving. We were enjoying each new day together, lulled into the luscious sense that we were buddies. You know, on-the-same-side.

Parenting Tip 101: when they're cute and happy...beware.

As you are about to find out, it really wasn't my fault at all...I mean, how could I have even KNOWN what he was about to do?

Let me start at the beginning. The beginning of that day, not the beginning of his life. We did our morning thing at home. Breakfast, getting dressed, picking up toys (Round One for the day). I needed to go to the store for a few items so off we went, me with my list and him with his dry diaper.

Life was good. Life was SWEET.

(By the way, let me say now, as a parent that should be your first clue. When things are going well, really, really smoothly, look out. In fact, duck. Something big is coming.)

Anyway, back to my story.

My son and I arrived at the store where I deposited him gently into a waiting shopping cart. He immediately began the process of removing himself from the cart. I began the process of reinserting him into the cart.

I won. We began shopping.

Things actually went swimmingly for awhile. I collected the items I needed while Son #1 interested himself with the big wide world around him. Being a social child, people were one of his favorite toys. He smiled, he giggled, he reached out with his chubby little hand as other shoppers moved in and out of his visual range.

Did I mention life was sweet?

My first mistake was getting complacent. I know, I know, that's a tactical error I would never have committed later on in my parenting career, but I was a newbie, remember? Little son seemed so happy I forgot how quickly the scenario could change. So I let my guard down and I actually...I'm ashamed to admit it...I BROWSED. I slowly and pleasurably went from item to item, savoring my tiny bit of adult time.

Son-boy caught on real fast.

His wide smile drooped, a little. He squirmed, more. His giggles took on a slight whiney quality.

But I was hooked. I was SHOPPING.

We did alright for a bit. But the kid's non-existent patience was wearing thin. His giggles were totally gone now and he was talking to me, plaintively.

"Mommy. Mommy! MOMMMYYYYY!”

I tried to soothe him with one hand without diverting my attention from the racks of clothing I was picking through. In the back of my mind, I tried to gauge how long I had until his cries would become annoying and I would actually have to bless him with my undivided attention.

In reality, my son was way ahead of me.

Since his attempts to get my focus were not working, he upped the ante. Rummaging through his limited vocabulary, he discovered a treasure as immense as any buried in the Valley of the Kings. It was a big word, huge by his budding understanding and he didn't even know what it meant. But he had heard it recently and it had come out of the mouth of an adult so it must be GOOD.

And now was the perfect time to try it out.

"Die-ree-uh! Die-ree-uh!"

My beautiful little son sang out his new word with all the gusto he could muster. Truly, he was nearly shrieking the word, and his clarity was astonishing.

More importantly, he now had my full and complete attention.

I put both my hands on either side of his round little face and shushed him gently.

No change.

I got firmer, scrunching my face in my fiercest 'no' expression and shaking my head strongly.

Nada. Zilch response on the positive scale.

So I did what any good parent would do in the same situation. I ditched the cart and contents, grabbed the kid and made for the store exit.

'Die-ree-uh' and I swooped through the door and into the sunlight, which magically transformed him instantly.

"Mommy done?" he asked pleasantly.

"Oh yah," I replied, humbled by his self-control. "Mommy done shopping for the next 18 years."

As I cuddled him into his car seat, I laughed at myself. I had a lot to learn about influencing my son's behavior and he apparently was born knowing how to control mine.

Parenting Tip 102: don't let size fool you.

About The Author

Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 25 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com. Get another parenting tip today at http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-tip.html.

The Frustrations and Rewards of Parenting Teenagers

Most parents - whether they admit it or not - react to the onset of their child's teenage years with either trepidation or absolute dread. We look back to our own teenage years, and wonder how our parents lived through our fads, our raging hormones, our rebellion, and our attitudes. It's almost as though, overnight, our parents went from knowing everything to knowing nothing, from understanding our hopes and dreams to being clueless about who we are and what we want out of life. Looking back, we know that parenting teenagers is no cakewalk, and can't begin to imagine how we'll survive the ordeal.

If only there was a parent handbook or parent directory, teens would be so much easier to raise. Even a family newsletter with tips and hints would be welcomed and make us feel as though we're not alone in our journey. There's never a doubt that we want what's best for our children, but what are we supposed to do when we lose our equanimity and get sucked into yet another argument about friends or clothes or the car? Is there any hope of ever having another enjoyable family vacation? How do we know when our teenager just has the blues and when he or she is clinically depressed? If it's the latter, what are the skills involved in parenting troubled teens?

Although we may approach our child's teenage years with dread, the truth is that parenting teenagers can be rewarding. Here are four tips to get through those teenage years.

1. Acknowledge our power. Although our teens would be loath to admit it, we still wield an enormous amount of influence over them. We may not think they're listening to us, but they are. During stressful times when we're tempted to take the bait and lay down ultimatums or get into an argument, it's important to remember that we're still role models for our teens. The more often we take the high road, the more they'll benefit.

2. Loosen the apron strings. It's difficult to accept that the purpose of the teenage years is to separate and differentiate from parents. When our teenagers begin to develop their own personal tastes and opinions, and especially when they want to be treated "as adults," it's hard to find the right balance between maintaining control and allowing them to nurture their individuality. We have the right and the obligation to set rules and standards, but we can't set them arbitrarily. If our teens demonstrate that they're trustworthy, we must give them room to grow.

3. Be vigilant. It's difficult to imagine that parenting teenagers is more difficult than parenting toddlers, but it's true. We may have loosened the apron strings, but that doesn't mean we should let go. All teenagers have secrets, and it's our job to make sure that our teens' secrets don't have the potential to harm themselves or others. That doesn't mean snooping (trust goes both ways), but it does mean staying involved in and aware of their activities and friends.

4. Listen with our ears and our hearts. Teenagers are notoriously uncommunicative, so listening is doubly important. This means listening both when they're speaking and when they're not. As the saying goes, silence can speak volumes, so it's crucial to learn to interpret the different kinds of silence. We also need to learn to listen by asking. This doesn't mean hounding our teens with questions, but asking their opinions and truly hearing what they have to say - without passing judgment or correcting them. All teens seek acceptance, and although most go through periods of feeling acceptance is lacking from their peers, we can fill in the gaps.

There's no doubt that parenting teenagers is incredibly challenging. And the reality is that we may not see the fruits of our efforts for several years. But when we devote the time and develop the skills to effectively parent our teens, we will experience the rewards, both now and in the future.

About The Author

Chris Robertson is a published author of Majon International. Majon International is one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing and internet advertising companies on the web. Visit their main business resource web site at: http://www.majon.com

To learn more about subjects like parenting please visit the web site at: http://www.parentingateenager.net

For more information and informative related articles and links about this subject matter and content, please visit Majon's Family and Children directory: http://www.majon.com/directory/Family_and_Children